Since I'm looking for the perfect girl, I'll start with a few critically important questions:
Do you remember how hard life was without Uber, Amazon, and Netflix?
Can you survive for five minutes without texting, tweeting, or instasnapbooking?
Do you believe that there's more to life than being really really ridiculously good looking?

If you answered yes to all of these questions, we're off to a great start!

More specifically, I'm looking for someone who lacks all sense of reason and accountability, has a passion for arguing, and is extremely high maintenance. If this is you, I'd really prefer someone who is ready to move in immediately and completely redecorate my house and sell all of my stuff on ebay! Nag much? Sign me up! On the other hand, if you're sweet, fun, caring, laid back, and enjoy sports and the outdoors, then we might not really be the best match...but I am pretty open-minded, so read on and we'll see how it goes!

About me...well from the pics, you can probably tell I spend most of my time in the gym getting huge (or I'm skinny and sit in front of a computer all day...but definitely one of those two). You may have also noticed a little Asian in me. Well if you don't like Asians, don't worry, I'm only half. So instead of dinner and a movie, maybe we can do dinner and some karaoke...or perhaps we could grab a drink and then I could get your clothes dry-cleaned for you. Besides that, I'm the kind of guy that likes to get dressed up for a night out on the town, but can also stay in and binge watch Netflix. Wait, never mind, I stole that from your profile...hmm it also says here that you’re witty, love to laugh and travel, and like to drink craft beer…interesting. Anyway, sorry, back to me...let's see...I have a high school diploma, no kids (that I know of), and I've never been to jail (in the U.S.). I'm also not very good with money so I've started a GoFundMe page in case I score any hot dates...I'm up to $17.50 so you can totally get extra cheese on your Whopper! I know, I know…don’t worry that excited tingly feeling you’re experiencing is totally natural.

If you found any of the above even remotely entertaining then we should definitely hang out and be a little more serious and discuss important issues like gun control, Bieber’s rising popularity and how #hashtags work! On the other hand if you thought all that was totally lame, then we are sadly #notamatch.