I'm Australian but I travel a lot! I have been to most places in the world - not really, but a lot. This is because I write and perform storytelling shows at festivals and other things all over the place. I have six touring shows at the moment. They are:

'Fire in the Meth Lab'
'Story Whore'
'Pretending Things are a C@ck' (It's not as gross as it sounds)
'My Dad's Deaths'
'How I Learned to Hug'
'It's Rabbit Night'

Go on look them up. Big Whoop. (I don't know why I wrote that?) Sorry for the self promo... That's not what this is about is it...? Well it kind of is but... Oh now my brain hurts.

Here's what I really do though:

- I like to pat dogs and cats.
- I enjoy using ellipses...
- I enjoy words and I really like to use words while speaking.
- I'm interested in people who are hemophiliacs and people who are coeliacs.
- I like people with animals and people who are animals.
- I don't like crayons.
- I'm existentially confident.
- I like bullet points.

I enjoy people who can laugh. If you are actually unable to laugh then that is also ok. Maybe you have some kind of disease and I don't want to offend you if you have some kind of inability to laugh disease? If you do have that kind of disease, I'm sorry.

- I don't like sentences that begin with 'I'.

- I do comedic type stuff like writing and performancy type of things (not acting) but please don't judge me on that...

Here are some things that may hopefully impress you:

- I've written a picture/travel book.
- I've been Skydiving, Bungy Jumping (from the highest bungy in the world), and Scuba Diving.
- I've flown a light aircraft.
- I've patted Lions, Cheetahs, Monkeys, Zebras, Cows, Dolphins, Sharks (not really but I have been Great White Shark diving), Snakes, Dogs, Cats, Ferrets, Sloths, Piranhas, Giraffes and many other things including large rocks.

I hope you are impressed by these things. This is what I'm supposed to do, right? Impress people?

I am NOT very easy going... on 'opposite day'... Blurrrghhg, that's lame. I'm lame.

I like people who are honest - I think honesty is probably very important when meeting strangers (I like to meet people) - hence please answer 'Yes' or 'No' when I ask if you're going to murder me.

PS. Please don't murder me.